poker face

it's so depressing recently. very indeed. what have i landed myself into.

i dont know have been missing netball a great deal. not only the game but what it taught us over the years. without it, i've been less disciplined. in terms of punctuality and studies.

and then there's mental strength. i used to be so sure, so certain, so confident that as long one persevere, one will succeed. i'm losing that belief.

i should be aim to be face challenges like that soon:

The One That Got Away- Katy Perry (cover) Megan Nicole

she's talented! her voice is beautiful.

reminds me of iu i dont know why, maybe it's cause they can both covers well and play a guitar ;D

tik tok on the clock

hope you all had a merry and fun christmas! ((:

i'm still practicing escapism in this festive season, and i'm a master in procrastination. really enjoyed myself this holiday, and i guess all good things (or times) will come to an end. very soon in fact.

this holiday, i've been to places where i've hoped to go, done things that i had wished ever since the eoys, and had fun like everybody's supposed to in the dec holidays. and of course, spent money as if it's nothing else but a piece of paper or plastic.

i guess. it's time to meet up with reality.

focus.

and i shall start by spamming homework every single day. hopefully i succeed. i realised my words mean nothing at all. i talk, and i dream big, i want to achieve a million things and yet i'm lazy to even move a pinkie. and that's one major flaw i aim to eliminate next year.

may we all achieve our heart desires.

again.

tea party.

ohmygosh it's been months and years since we played netball again and it's wonderful we can finally be playing the sport as a team together.

how weird it is, to catch a ball far bigger than the tchoukball, and to stick to the opponent like malt candy. but i guess we still have the flow, minus all silly mistakes made.

how wonderful it is, to not feel the immense pressure (though we were all still nervous heh) and play freely without any scoldings (but coach was still there).

sports is always fun ^^

and we had lunch with mc! never see her for a dozen years and the few stalkers are as crazy as ever. yeah hope to see her again and more gatherings to come~ ((:

same same but different

the past five days were the most enriching cip experience ever. i didnt regret signing up for childaid 2011 ((: it's like a concert by young people and children to help needy children. of course it was tiring and totally sian at some points of time, but was really happy yesterday ^^

was assigned as chaperone to the ballerinas, who are really angels as compared to some other kids especially those boys who are hyperactive. chaperone is something like a facilitator, just that we have to usher and cue them to be on stage. other than that was babysitting the little kids.

it gets pretty tiring especially we are always the earliest to arrive in the morning and the latest to finish everything, checking that the performers didnt leave anything in the dressing rooms. and it's especially stressed when in the backstage and having the walkie talkie is just so... weird.

when we first started wenhui jiahui and i (lol our names so similar right! :D) were always swimming in our own land cause the other chaperones reported 2 weeks earlier and knew the concert perfomances head to toe. and we were like... what? all the time.

but it got better after a few days and lol there was this reporter-like lady from shanghai who talked to me for almost half an hour while i was on duty managing 2 groups of performers (i guess cause no one can really speak chinese). woah multi tasking was difficult i was listening to the walkie talkie and trying to decipher what the lady was saying and coming up with a reply in chinese! mymy chinese. how long have i not used it haha. she asked so many questions that got me thinking and it became like a reflection.

like how this cip is entirely different from those that we usually have such as marathons and helping out in orphanage/old folk's home. chaperoning the performers was real back-stage work and it was the coolest experience ever. it was like going on stage, and when there's applause, you can feel the pride and joy, like you've helped to put a performance together. and when the concert ended, it's kind of funny when we look happier than the performers lol.

and this whole cip is just something completely away from academics and schooling. it's an exposure to something that makes everyone feel happy-- music.

it's wonderful that the performers have found their calling at such tender ages, like as young as 6. they know what they want to be in the future, they hope for achievements, and they are working towards their dreams. in comparison i'm walking a path that might lead me to nowhere and my interests do me no good because everything is to be practical in the world i live in. i hope someday, i can finally find and pursue something that i'm truly passionate about.

anyway, the concert was a success and it had a good ending. i shall hope to volunteer next year as chaperone again heheh! :D

life indeed.

so many bloody things to worry about.

1. the childaid cip with the role that leaves us all gong gong and lost

2. the ultimate fight between bacteria and plants

3. my super clean and untouched pile of homework

4. my holy 12 am sleep time curfew

5. my expected responsibility over everything in the house after my parents fly off

and the list goes on just that i pushed them to the back of my mind and hope they never resurface again.

feel so ever pathetic with the lack of time and the burden placed on me. i dont get why my parents placed so much expectations and responsibility on me and then find it as an excuse to treat me as their punching bag. they only show concern when they worry if i can take care of my sisters with my busy schedule.

and wow today arent sleeping early at 12 what a miracle all thanks to my sister who's still bathing in the middle of the night with no one shouting at us to sleep early wonderful.

life's full of surprises.