whyohwhy.

my hamster died yesterday.
and i know this post is going to sound so not me.
im sorry.








and im really very sad cos i wasnt there when it died.
maybe it wouldnt have died if i was there.
maybe.
im reallly very sad to say, to put it in the bad way, my mum murdered it.
nay she dint step on it and squashed it.
to put it in a better way, she accidently strangled it while trying to stop it from struggling.
she was trying to release the blood in Smelly's nose.
i told her not to do that before.
i said how would you like a needle poking your nose when it's alr swollen.
she dint listen.
i told her to release Smelly if it was struggling too hard before.
poor little Smelly was struggling so hard when she force fed it medicine last time.
that time i remembered i had screamed at her when poor little Smelly struggled so hard.
i would had screamed at her yesterday if i was there.
then she would have released it.
Smelly wouldnt have died.
but now it laid in that little box buried with wood shavings.





i would have liked to blame my mum for it.
shouted and really really hate her.
but i couldnt.
my mum was super guilty.
she cried until i dont know what, cos i wasnt there.
i only knew through my sis.
and she said the dinner was terrible and my dad has to help my mum to wash the dishes cos she was damn emotional.
so when i came back home she was like a ghost and i couldnt really couldnt blame her and need to fake a smile and say it's okay.

poor Smelly had a hard life.
i hope it is in a better place now.
much more better.
may you rest in peace.